Some Benefits of Nostalgia

Having just spent the weekend looking back (due to the passing of a loved one), I returned to find a link to this blog post from the American Psychological Association in my inbox this morning. At a time when I am trying to focus on being in the present, and struggling with the challenges of hanging onto things from the past, it is reassuring to learn that nostalgia has its good points.

I recall that nostalgia was somewhat prominent during my high school days, highlighted by the release of the film American Graffiti and the minor popularity of the band Sha Na Na. I'm sure I first learned of the word "nostalgia" during this period. I suspect that this sort of thing is cyclical. For me, things that happened during high school seem to occupy a lot of space in my memory.

Perhaps the information in the post can help some of us find the appropriate balance among the past, present and future.

Smartphones, Your Children and You!

A recent article in the American Psychological Association's Monitor on Psychology summarizes research on the pros and (mostly) cons of smartphone use. Many of us have experienced the benefits of having the amassed knowledge of everything in our hands when we are desperately trying to find the nearest coffee shop or remember the name of the band that recorded the song that won't stop playing in our heads. The smartphone is good for keeping in touch with our children/parents, whether across town or across the country. And it's just fun to have all those games at our fingertips when we are waiting for the doctor to see us.

The downsides, however, are significant. The article makes it clear that nighttime smartphone use is detrimental to a good night's sleep. Looking at your phone instead of talking to your spouse and children while at home (or the person next to you in the doctor's waiting room) denies you the benefits of interacting with another person face-to-face. And people who experience FOMO (fear of missing out - who knew this was a thing?) become anxious when they are not able to check their messages/email/Facebook feed.

The article offers commonsense steps you and your family can take to rein in smartphone use that is out of control. Among them:

* Decide what you really need your phone for (calling/texting, GPS), and what you can do in other ways (writing notes in a notebook, using an alarm clock)

* Let friends and family (and bosses?) know that you might not respond immediately to their text if you are doing something important, like having dinner with the family

* Silence notifications so you are not constantly picking up the phone

* Put down the phone long before bedtime, and keep it out of the bedroom when you are sleeping

You will find that you are more relaxed, feel more connected with loved ones, and have a sense of being in control of your phone, not the other way around. It will be nice to see the faces of your spouse and children again, rather than the tops of their heads. And they will feel the same about you!

Public diagnosis and the therapeutic relationship

In an online story published by US News and World Report, a psychotherapist is quoted as saying that Donald Trump suffers from an incurable mental illness that makes him "temperamentally incapable of being president." This person admitted that he has never met Mr. Trump. He said that he makes his diagnosis based on what has appeared in the media.This pronouncement caused quite a flap.

Politics sometimes comes up in my psychotherapy sessions. If it is important for my client to discuss, I am very willing to do so. I rarely, however, disclose my own feelings on such topics. This is not because I am embarrassed about my political views; I am not. However, if my views do not align with those of my client, and that upsets my client, it could damage our relationship. A damaged relationship is not the best context for conducting therapy. I take the same approach with religious topics: we can talk about such things, but I usually keep my views private.

Also, if I heard my therapist talking publicly about the diagnosis of another person, I might wonder if s/he talks about me outside of our sessions. That would feel like a betrayal of confidentiality. I make sure my clients understand about confidentiality - and its limits - so they know what they can expect from me. Hopefully I conduct myself in a way that engenders trust; then they will feel more comfortable sharing information with me.

The Need for Medical and Mental Health Care Providers to Collaborate

In a recent online survey of physicians from several countries, 27% or respondents answered “no” to this question.

The US Preventive Services Task Force recommends that all adults be screened for depression. Do you feel comfortable discussing mental health issues with all of your adult patients?

This is concerning because many people who are experiencing behavioral health problems seek help first from their physician. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention noted in a 2015 press release that about half of the people who visit a physician for mental health problems see someone other than a psychiatrist.

In another finding by the same organization, the results were even more discouraging. 

I believe most of my patients are honest with me when discussing…

• 23% – Tobacco use
• 19% – Eating & exercise habits
• 13% – Alcohol use
• 13% – Sexual history
• 10% – Drug use
• 4% – Domestic abuse
• 18% – None of the above

These problems involve choices people are making that negatively impact their physical and emotional lives. And the results suggest that these important issues are not being discussed, or are not being discussed honestly, by a sizable portion of patients.

Polls sometimes fail to reflect reality for a variety of reasons. Even if twice as many people are honest when talking to their doctors about issues, that still means fewer than half are being honest about tobacco use, and fewer than 10% about domestic abuse.

Both of these survey items point to the need for better communication – between doctors and patients, and between doctors and providers who specialize in mental health treatment. I work hard to keep in touch with the other people who provide care to my clients. Many of them appreciate these efforts, and many of them reciprocate.

Although it sometimes appears that members of different health care disciplines work hard to protect “territory”, our clients and patients are always better served when we collaborate.

Looking for Common Ground

Most of my social media exposure is through Facebook. I know, I know, I’m behind the times. So be it. Through Facebook I see postings from other social media sites. And I read the letters to the editor, a kind of old school social media. Regardless of the source, I’m not very happy with what I see.

We seem to have created an atmosphere in which discord and denigration are valued more than civility and communication. I suppose this is nothing new, except perhaps in the depth to which it has penetrated our “interactions.” And it goes beyond politics and comedy, which have always been fertile ground for putdowns, shout-downs, and sometimes knockdowns. According to my Facebook feed, if I like/dislike the Dallas Cowboys/Greenpeace/Wall St. Journal/John Steward/Taylor Swift; if I agree/disagree that children should wear/not wear bicycle helmets or play/not play video games; if I can/can’t recognize that picture of an ice cube tray/rotary phone/air raid shelter sign; then I am worse than worthless and am wasting valuable oxygen meant for someone more deserving. Doesn’t it seem a bit ridiculous?

I have been guilty of contributing to this trend at times. I have posted a comment to try to get a laugh, not thinking about how it might hurt someone’s feelings until after clicking POST. I have added my two cents unnecessarily to a stream that already had too much heat and not enough light. I have LIKEd harsh putdowns disguised as seemingly clever comments, hoping that someone will see me as clever, too. Maybe I have scored meaningless “points” by these actions, but at the expense of a useful exchange of ideas.

This isn’t helping.

I am not advocating an end to social media. It could be – and is - such a powerful tool that it would be senseless to let it go to waste. What I would love to see is people reading comments thoughtfully, responding to them with questions rather than attacks, and looking for common ground. I believe that common ground is there, but we have stopped seeking it.

I have tried this approach. It is not easy. Sometimes I become preachy and self-righteous, or Pollyanna-ish and naïve, or just plain irritating. Sometimes I expose my ignorance, which is not much fun. In spite of that, if I am open to understanding what the other person really means, I often learn something. One of the biggest things I learn is that the other person and I are more similar than different. When that happens, we both score points that are really worth something.

Other people are doing this. I’m going to keep trying. I’ve got nothing to lose, and a better world to gain. I'd love to hear what you think.

Psychology and Torture?

In recent weeks it has come to light that two psychologists allegedly assisted in “enhanced interrogation” (aka torture) conducted by the CIA in Afghanistan. I have seen articles on newspaper websites and on the website of the American Psychological Association (APA) discussing this issue. Recently the topic was featured in a Doonesbury comic strip.

Am I shocked that psychologists may have been involved in such activities? No. Psychologists are human beings, and human beings come in all varieties, good and bad.

Am I dismayed that this might give psychologists a black eye? Yes. It is unfortunate that the times when we remember hearing about psychologists – in the news, on television, in the movies – tend to be when psychologists have engaged in inappropriate activities, or when they have been presented negatively. This happens despite efforts by the APA and other organizations to use the science of psychology to improve our lives. The APA is conducting an investigation to determine if the organization was in some way complicit in the actions of these two psychologists (who are not APA members).

Yes, among psychologists there are some bad actors, as there are in all occupations. I hope that people do not conclude that because some psychologists - or ministers, or law enforcement officers or politicians – have acted inappropriately, unethically or criminally, that all of them do. I believe most of us (the big “us”, not just psychologists) try to do the right thing most of the time.

I’d love to hear your comments and concerns and answer your questions.

Misunderstanding violence and mental illness

The September 2014 issue of Monitor on Psychology (the American Psychological Association’s monthly magazine) includes a column on violence and mental illness. Norman Anderson, the APA’s Chief Executive officer, tries to dispel various misconceptions about the perceived connection between violence and mental illness.

Anderson writes:

Today, the national dialogue on mental illness and gun violence continues based on reports of mental health problems among some mass violence perpetrators…. Unfortunately, the conversation in the media has focused in large measure on keeping guns out of the hands of what some have called the ‘dangerous mentally ill.

The vast majority of violent acts are not committed by people who are diagnosed with, or in treatment for, mental illness….Moreover, the focus on mental illness ignores the fact that most gun violence is committed by people in crisis, who are under the influence of drugs or alcohol, or in the context of domestic violence or other illegal activitie.

Given that most people with mental illness do not harm or threaten others, continuing to frame the conversation about gun violence solely in the context of mental illness does a disservice both to the victims of violence and those who suffer from mental illness. More important, it does not direct us to appropriate solutions.

It is easy for us to accept unquestioningly what we see on television or the Internet. I appreciate the APA’s efforts to set the record straight. They also continue to conduct research on the nature of violence of all kinds, and on our best, scientifically based efforts to prevent and respond to such violence.